Writers, eh? Whatcha gonna do with ’em?  Bung ’em in a hole, and fill it with dirt.  Stuff their mouths with dirty socks to be safe.  ‘Cause writers, well, they ain’t always talkers, but sometimes they are, and you can’t take any chances.  So.  That’s yer checklist:

1) shovels

2) socks

Now don’t wait around.  Halloween may be come and gone again, but that doesn’t mean you can relax.  Writers are a peculiar kind of heathen that know no shame, no limits to their depravity.  They’ll assault you with their language without any provocation whatsoever.  Don’t take any chances.  Have that hole ready.  Keep some socks in yer pocket, yer purse, wherever.  You suspect a writer, you use yer tools.  Better safe than sorry, right?

Right.

You can do this.