there are just some days where you have to accept:

depression is a real thing

Once upon a time, as I have written in the recent past, the Dark Side of the Force was my primary motivation to write.  Fear (of what, I’ll not say) provoked anger, which I was just smart enough to realize that I could not safely express physically, which lead to writing as an outlet, which lead to some pretty dreadful poetry.  I spent a goodly portion of my energy in intervening years teaching myself ways to suppress that anger, and tangentially addressing the sources of that anger, the wellsprings of fear within me.