The young woman in the tight black turtleneck stopped short, her head swiveling as she sought the source of the comment, a ready comeback on her lips. But it was late; the park was empty. No playgroups, worn-out moms and sugar-fueled kids. No perverts with hidden cameras videoing awkward first dates. Not even a derelict, half-drunk on cheap wine, polluting a bench. That last in particular was unusual for the time of night. She shrugged with a little shiver, and started to walk more slowly onward.
“That’s the stuff! Come on. Take me home with ya!”
Any more gravel in the voice, and she would have suspected one of the statues deployed artfully throughout the park. She didn’t stop this time, but flipped open the shield on her panic button. She even scanned the trees.
Movement drew her gaze to a seemingly empty bench. She stopped and looked closer, squinting even though her stylist said that caused wrinkles. A ratty old teddy bear, a beat-up stuffed child’s toy with a bald velveteen nose, stood up and winked improbably with one button eye.
“What do ya say, momma?” It held out its stubby, fingerless arms. “I’m reeeeal cuddly.”
Her eyes widened, then the woman screamed and ran from the park.
A deep, mellow voice said from an adjoining garden plot, “It appears that your delivery could use some work.”
The Teddy Bear spun toward the source of the comment. “Aw, what would you know, ya stone-hearted bastard?”
Bushes rustled and thrashed, accompanied by a deep rumbling, a millstone sort of sound. A seven-foot tall white marble statue pushed through the foliage, his formerly pensive face fallen into melancholy ages ago. He walked gracefully, but heavily, toward the bench. Tiny grains of sand sifted from his joints with every step.
“You persist in abusing me,” the Stone Man said. “Why?”
The Teddy Bear curled his thready lip. “Ya got sand fer brains and a lump a stone fer a heart. What would you know about technique?”
The pair watched as the woman’s dash carried her out onto the street, where a carload of early revelers honked and hooted. Her witty retort was finally deployed.
The Stone Man’s neck grated through the arc of a nod. “I suppose I must admit that your observation is not completely without accuracy.”
The Teddy Bear turned away with a wistful sigh as the woman got into the car. “She was lookin’ fer trouble. I could a given her trouble.” He pulled a switchblade from behind his back and started vigorously carving his initials into the bench.
“I am sure that you could have,” the Stone Man said. “But it appears that she did not desire your brand of trouble.”
“They never do,” the Teddy Bear growled. “Still. I ain’t gonna change, ’cause when I find the one who does, I am gonna get so freaky with her!” He started adding Gothic flourishes to his initials.
“If you cannot adapt, you must persevere,” the Stone Man said. “A statement as true of Avatars as it is of humans.”
The Teddy Bear threw the knife into the bushes and scowled, thread lips parting to reveal needle-sharp porcelain teeth. “Aw, why ya always gotta ruin the moment, huh? Ya think too much, ya know that?”
“And you, not enough,” the Stone Man said. “And so our functions are fulfilled.”
The Teddy Bear looked around the park in desperate hopefulness. “Maybe I can find another woman. Maybe what I do to her shuts you up.”
The Stone Man almost smiled at this. A thought stopped him. “This could be nothing, or it could be important: how is it that we were visible to her?”
The Teddy Bear flopped down on the bench and scratched his belly. “I told ya. She was lookin’ fer Trouble.”
“Of course; and humanity sees what it looks for,” the Stone Man said. A weakness not shared by their Host’s Avatars.
Or was it a strength? The Stone Man thought. It was a distinction that would bear consideration, especially as it reflected upon their Host.
“Well, I’m seeing a whole lot of nothin’ here,” the Teddy Bear said. “Guess that means it’s time to get off my furry butt and make something happen.” He stood up and jumped off the bench. “I’m thinking fish sticks.”
The Stone Man nodded. He could think anywhere; the Teddy Bear’s responsibilities were more immediate.
The Teddy Bear started singing as he stalked from the park. “Fish heads, fish heads, rolly-polie fish heads! Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!”
