So tired this morning.  So sleepy.  Moved through much of it in a fog.  Still not entirely certain that I’m awake.

Just a little while ago, sat down on the toilet.  BM when I’m feeling like this is generally pretty magical.  It’s so relaxing, more so than the usual BM, even.  So utterly, completely, totally relaxing.  Generally speaking, the only time I feel this relaxed is laying half-asleep in bed.  I’m so relaxed.  So…relaxed.

*siiiiiiigh*

Then the panic sets in.  I’m so relaxed.  I can’t tell if I’m half-awake on the toilet, or actually half-asleep in bed.  Am I still in bed?  Am I still asleep?

Did I just shit the bed?

And now it feels like there are spiders on my balls.  It’s probably just the skin relaxing, right?  The hairs sort of releasing.  But it feels like spiders.  Crawling all over my scrotum.  Oh, god.  I *am* still asleep.  I’m having a nightmare about spiders on my scrotum and I just shit the bed.

Fuck.

But it’s okay.  I can relax.  The cat came in and told me that I am definitely awake, if perhaps a little groggy.  “Relax,” she said.  “Enjoy the moment.”

She said.

She…*said*.

Fuck.